|
TheMysteriousLady
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Samira
Location:
Birthday: 9/21/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: Taking pictures, Talking, Drawing, Fashion Design, Dreaming, Sleeping, Music, Reading, Relaxing, Traveling, Walking, Biking, Boys ;-), TV, Cooking, Writing, Chatting, ...
Expertise: *HUGS* TOTAL!
give TheMysteriousLady more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  279409915
MSN: flyingtoastergirl@hotmail.com
ICQ:  279409915
Member Since:
3/14/2005
|
|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| what does nobody know?
Well..where could I start here?
First of all, i'm still not totally over a guy I was in love with years ago
SEcondly I'm still into that guy that I was dating some months ago..and I miss that feeling walking in some city around and holding his big hand and just know that he's there
Thurd thing is I don't wanna see my boyfriend...and I don't know why..is it because I don't love him? Because I don't wanna get physical with him? Because I don't wanna know him? Because I don't really care about him? Because he has no job, no education, no car, no own house? I dunno...
And a friend said I definitly need someone that is much more than him..is she right? Or do I just pretend to be "better" so I don't get hurt again?
Well..but if i really think of all this crap...I feel really empty...nothin...there's absolutely nothing...no love nor hate...nothing...for anyone..just need some kisses and hugs...some body close to mine...that's all...
what the fuck is going on with me?
Sam
| | |
| So weird...how people can change...how i changed...i play with people's feeling like toys and I dont care...I dont believe in love no more, only good feelings...and dont believe nor trust anyone...and i'm ok...
I'm definitly the best example for a devil in angel's costume...that's me...I'm such a bad person ..if its about other people that care more about me than i want them to. but on the other hand..what can i do? nothing. it's not my fault..or is it?
god...help me ...
Sam
| | |
| So hi again, once again, its me, Sam, writing in here, I actually forgot totally about my xanga page, my computer didnt even know my nickname anymore although it always saves them. so hell yeah, i'm back! hahaha. in my last entry i was writing about my goals that were ahead of me...so I will see that put another one again on here and check the ones I accomplished! 
1. having my last day of school -check
2. losing more weight - check
3. falling in love - check (although this is a difficult one..dont know if this is gonna last...and how we should work out a distance relationship...)
4. preparing my exams - am cheking. hahaha
and this is ahead of me
5. pass my English exam, the 23rd of april
6. pass my Math exam, the 30th of april
7. pass my Spanish exam, the 2nd of may
8. work a lot to get some money till the 20th
9. Go to Cologne for a volunteer workshop over the weekend 11-13. may, and see my sweetheart Christof
10. ...the 13th of may...say goodbye to Chris...for more than a month... will be fucking hard...i hate distance... 
11. pack my stuff and get my applications for some universities to the postoffice
12. catch my flight the 20th of may!!!
13. have a great time and see my relatives and friends, exspecially my best friend Fidan didnt see for 11 years!!!
14. have a great time at the wedding of my cousins the 26th of may
15. coming back...
16. go on studying, especially for my history exam
17. go on working a lot
18. pass my oral exams, the 14th and 15th of june i think
19. having chris over here
20. having a great graduation celebration the 22nd of june with my friends, family and Chris!!!
21. going to Melissa's volunteer camp and volunteer there with all my afsers and Chris the whole weekend 22nd till 23 og june!!
22. work on...and see what future brings...
23....being mad at johnnie...for not coming...thats the most depressing message i got lately...
well i think thats enough for now...i cant believe school is over now..i cant believe future starts....i cant believe that my heart beats again for someone....i cant feel other that happy right now...although i study like crazy for my graduation exams...
love, Sam
| | |
| Well, yeah, I have a secret that I was telling a few people and then it almost looked like it wouldnt come true, so i thought i just write it down, as nobody really will read this anyway or the ones that would read this, they wouldnt understand or care a lot about it, not yet, i will look totally forward to it in may, after i wrote my exams!!
so here it is: last week we decided kinda that we have about enough money to go to Baku, well, my parents decided that. And i was just like "oh, when?" my mom"WEll, in may when i'm on vacation" and i was like"oh! can i come along? its right between my written and oral exams!!" mom"well...okay, if you can pay the ticket!"
So there was a big fight between my parenst and blabla and today she was telling me that they were considering every situation and one big reason to go is for me to show me where i'm from and see my family and remember my past kinda, as we dont know when else i'd have time, like who knows if i have time next year and money and who knows what will be next year, and yeah, if i go to college this year, it is gonna cost a lot, but till september we have time to save some more money for me for college and stuff. so yeah.
now, my mom went to the bank and the they ordered tickets last night and today they re gonna go and pay them. so my only goals for the next few months are:
1. study hard
2. work hard
3. be ready for my exams
4. write my exams and pass (i will pray for that, so do you please!)
5. get off for vacation
6. save enough money, meaning about 700 euros for the ticket
7. not tell everybody i'm coming
8. be happy
9. surprise
10. go to Baku happily with my parents
(afetrwards:
1. study more
2. pass my oral exams in math and history!
3. get my graduation card
4. have a nice graduation (party)
5. apply for many colleges
6. realize what i wanna do
7. get into a college
8. maybe have a summer job
9. move out to my college
10. start a new life
and if 3-10 doesnt work our or 7-10, then the rest is the plan for a year later )
i love you, wish me all the best, please!
i dunt wanna be in that mood of depression and heart break and uselessness..
love SAM
| | |
| Just thought I update a little and say hi and Happy New Year
My life is really busy and stressful now, work and school, and i'm graduatig hopefully soon, after my exams..which i hope i can pass...well...wish me good luck!! i love u all!
Write me dont forget me!!
Peace
Sam
| | |
|
